How To Bourne

When we decided to move to Texas I had negotiated with my husband to let me have two more kids.  Its not that he didn’t want more children, our lives were just very busy in Virginia since I was working 60+ hours a week as chief of an anesthesia department that was almost an hour from our house.  We moved to Texas for Adam’s job that would give us more financial freedom and allow me to work part time. He was totally fine with having more kids if we had the emotional room for them to feel as loved as they would be.  We spent a few weeks in Florida on our way down from Virginia to Texas.  I called my midwife from Judah’s birth and went over a few fears I had.  Mainly, how long and difficult Judah’s birth was and how terrified I was of having an even larger baby with shoulder dystocia. She told me to act like I had gestational diabetes, educate myself about it and eat to build a healthier sized baby.  She also said my birth was uneventful to her and that I prov...

I had my first two sons via cesarean. My recovery from both of the cesareans was physically easy.   I did have adhesions that I felt over the next few years.   It was emotionally rough to hear about perfect vaginal births that other women experienced but I just said to myself and others “My body needs to have babies cut out and it is so much easier anyway.”   I became a nurse after I had my second son.   I worked on many c-sections and vaginal deliveries.   I always cried with the c-sections.   I thought it was the “miracle of life” affecting me until one day I realized I never cried during the vaginal births- I think it was hitting a chord that I still wasn’t fully aware of.   I ended up being an ICU nurse and leaving the labor and delivery realm.   In the ICU, we see the worst case scenario quite a bit and my perception of reality became somewhat skewed.   During a lecture in nursing school, we had a lactation consultant come and talk to us...

I had wanted another little girl.  We had two healthy boys and a lovely daughter and I wanted to finish our family with another baby sister.  I used the Shettles method, which is what we used to conceive our daughter and I followed it perfectly.  On the night I ovulated, which is the worst time to conceive a girl, I had the most insane urge of my life to be with my husband.  My body was not going to accept anything other than getting pregnant right then- I have never felt anything like it.  That is how we conceived our perfect little boy.  He was totally meant to be from the second he was created.  There was nothing my planning and controlling nature could do- he was the one for us. I must admit, after meeting him, that he is the only baby I wanted and I couldn’t imagine it any other way!  We did not find out the gender of this baby until he was born.  It was a fun guessing game but we have a lot of clothes to buy! I had a midwife appointme...

 When Luca was nine months old, Adam and I were out on one of our first big nights out as parents at a bar where I used to bartend.  I was new-mom drunk on like 1.5 drinks and I asked Adam how he felt about giving Luca a sibling.  YES! YES? YES!  We were both so excited!  Luca was the easiest baby in the world, we both had good jobs at the bank with benefits at this point, and we were feeling more confident as new parents.  Four weeks later, I snuck into the bathroom at 4:00 in the morning to take a test. Positive.   This pregnancy was very easy.  I was in school again.  This time to finish pre-requisites to start a graduate nursing program. I was working full time and going to community college at night.  Adam was an amazing father and partner.  We had a home daycare for Luca that we liked.  Since w e were on a new private insurance plan we decided to find a new doctor.   I had heard about VBAC and asked about it at ...

 I met up with a friend in the middle of my bartending shift.  It was a slow night so the bar back just took over the bar for the three or four regulars sitting at the bar while I had a couple of beers with my high school friend.  We talked about college, both of us were in our fourth year and thinking about graduation.  We talked about our significant others, I had been dating the same guy for two years which was unheard of for me.  I said all I wanted to do was graduate, marry this guy, and start a family.  He was the one for me.  The next day, I realized that my period was late.  Only a couple of days but I was very regular.  I bought a pregnancy test and sat in the little hall bathroom I shared with my boyfriend and our two roommates.  I stared at the little faint line not believing what I was seeing.  Positive?  I yelled into the house and my roommates confirmed what I thought I saw: the faintest of positive lines.  I...