Getting Pregnant

I was active on a mommy message board for about five minutes in 2016.  I was blacklisted.  There are rules for mommy message boards. Everyone is mean to everyone all of the time.  This is always framed as concern, knowledge spreading, or advice from someone who knows way more than you will ever know. There is usually a group of OG moms who know one another (online) from the TTC (trying to conceive) message boards. They run that place.  They are allowed to talk to anyone in any fashion, they DO NOT want to see any pregnancy tests, and the birth month message board is really for them only.  They tolerate the presence of others who happen to have a baby due in their baby's month but advice from the newcomer mothers is inevitably wrong.  

I lurked on these boards for all of my pregnancies and decided that by my fourth baby, I had enough experience under my belt to comment here and there. I was completely wrong. A first time mom posted saying she felt like she could tell the moment she became pregnant. She just had a feeling.  It was sweet. The OG moms tore her UP. They explained science to her.  They told her she had triggered them. Someone told her not to post unless it was actually useful in any way.  I thought we were all getting off on the wrong foot by being so mean to this new mom.  Most of us were between four and eight weeks pregnant, we had a lot of months to go together. So I said something.  It went something like, "I think it's sweet that you felt you knew when you got pregnant.  We should all try to lift one another up a bit more instead of tearing down." I was met with this:

This was both written out in various "I hate you" ways and also this actual meme was posted.  So I went back to my lurker cave and kept all opinions in my own dumb head.  I know why those moms felt they owned that place.  Some of them had been trying for years to get pregnant.  This was finally their time.  The rest of us just didn't understand how special this pregnancy was for them.  I act like a psycho when I am trying to conceive.  I am lucky enough to get pregnant in just a couple of months. I know that is not the norm and I am eternally grateful. While I am lucky, I am also intentional.  I start getting ready to get pregnant way before I actually start trying to conceive. 

A few months before:

• I ideally try to get down to my ideal weight.  This is not my clinical ideal body weight- that number is a joke that I will never get.  This is the weight where I feel comfortable in my body and strong in my daily life. 
• I use diet and exercise to get there.  This also gets your body ready for baby making. The right cocktail of vitamins from your food and endorphins from activity helps your body feel safe and calm. This helps you ovulate. See my post on pregnancy diet to get an idea of what to eat.
• I start taking supplements to detox my body.  I use Milk Thistle supplements to help decrease liver inflammation and help it repair from any damage I may have caused it since the last pregnancy.  The liver is incredible and is crucial to a healthy body, healthy pregnancy, and healthy baby. The science on using Milk Thistle as a "detox" is mixed mostly because the studies were small samples or not random controlled trials. Overall, the studies showed positive results, the scientific community just needs better research before they rubber stamp it.  Link in the resources below if you want to check out all of the research. I stop taking this when I start actively trying to conceive.
• I also take supplements to build healthy stores for baby.  Most prenatal vitamins have what you need but I prefer Rainbow Lite Prenatal One because it is sourced from actual food, it is a once daily pill instead of having to choke down a million of them, and you can find it at normal stores mile Kroger and Target. 
• Vitamin D 5000 is daily (you can ask your provider to check your vitamin D level if you want but nearly everyone is deficient) I stop taking these in the summer if I am getting outside every day.  
• Omega 3 Fish Oils for big brain babies. I take Ultimate Omega by Nordic Naturals because they responsibly source their fish oils. I keep taking all of these supplements (prenatal, Vit D, Omega 3) throughout pregnancy and breast feeding.
• I get off of any birth control that isn't condoms.  I just want to give my body a couple of cycles of normal ovulation and menstruation before I am actively trying to conceive. 
• I track my cycles. I use Flo fertility tracker.  It is just a free app I keep on my phone so I know when my period started, how long my periods are on average, when to expect my next period, and when to expect ovulation. 
• I pinpoint when ovulation occurs.  I use Wondfo ovulation test strips. You can get a million of then from Amazon for like 25 cents. They are also very sensitive. They look just like pregnancy tests and you also pee on them to see when you are ovulating BUT a faint line does NOT mean positive. ONLY a line as dark or darker than the control line means you are going to ovulate in the next 48 hours.  Here is their chart below for when to start testing. Understanding when you ovulate is so helpful and empowering. 
  

When I'm ready to start trying:

• I buy Wondfo pregnancy test strips from Amazon in bulk.  Not all pregnancy tests are created equal.  A big fancy box and and expensive tag does not make a pregnancy test more reliable.  It is just testing for the early pregnancy hormone hCG in your urine.  The most sensitive test on the market can detect hCG when there is only 10 mIU/ml in your system whereas many tests in stores can only detect it when there is 25 mIU/ml.  These are the most sensitive tests you can buy and they are cheap so you can take millions of them like me. 
• I stop drinking and having my biannual cigarette. Many moms keep having wine or beer here and there.  I just don't.  I'll talk more about that in this post. 
• I watch my cervical mucus.  What a fun subject! Seriously though, it is the telltale sign for me that I am ovulating. Combined with knowing where I am in my cycle, this is what I use to get pregnant reliably each time. Here is this not gross image to help you: 
  
  
  
• I have sex with my partner. We do it every day for the time I believe I am ovulating.  The four days leading up, the day of, and the day after for good measure. If I am trying to have a girl, I do this differently.  See my post about gender fixing.

After Ovulation Until I See a Positive Test:

• I act insane.  I obsess about it.  I try really hard not to do this. It does not work.  Every. Single. Time.
• I start testing at 10 DPO (days past ovulation).  If I'm pregnant, it is positive here.  It still doesn't stop me from testing every day until I actually get my period.  Thank God Wondfo is so cheap. If my test is negative at 10 days, I assume my calculations are off and waste 5 test until my period starts.  If it is positive,  I keep testing every day to make sure that line is getting darker. I line all of my tests up on the counter and leave them there until I feel confident there is a real baby growing inside of me. I wish I could say this is me at my craziest.
• If I am not pregnant, I have a glass of wine and spend two weeks trying not to think about it. Then the process starts again when I know I am about to ovulate.  

I hope this helps.  

Resources

Mommy message board lingo decoded 

Exercise to help fertility 

Milk Thistle Science

Cervical Mucus